Martin Luther King or Bill Gates

One day as I got down on my knees and prayed, a benevolent voice whispered to me and said, “MJ, you will receive a gift.” Instead of asking who or what the voice is, I got very excited with the prospect that I might receive a windfall of riches and fame. So I asked, “What’s the gift?”

The voice answered, “You will have the chance to determine one of your children’s future.”

Ok, so the gift is not for me it’s for one of my children. This is even better.  I gleefully asked for more details. The voice obliged.

“First you must choose which of your children will receive the gift. Then you have to decide which path your chosen child will take. There are two paths. The first path is a path that Martin Luther King journeyed and the second path is the road that Bill Gates traveled. Your child’s chosen path will have the same triumphs, struggles, rewards, and sacrifices as the person who first lived it.”

Wow!

It’s already hard enough to choose which child to pick but the different paths has made it more difficult. I asked the voice if I can have at least an hour to maul over my choices. The voice said, “No problem.”

If I pick MLK, then I know for sure what will happen to my child. But his life affected so many people and has literally changed the course of American society and arguably changed the world. If I were to choose MLK, then my daughter, The Family Genius, with be perfect for his life. Like MLK, the Family Genius has the huge capacity to do what’s right. She has an unwavering conviction that will not sacrifice her integrity and good sense. She also has the ability to organize and galvanize people to work for a common cause.

Now if I decide to go with Bill Gates, The Prodigal Son would definitely fit the bill. Like Gates, The Prodigal Son, has the knack for business and the ability to recognize a need and be able to meet that need with speed and efficiency.  The Prodigal Son will be focused in growing his business and money but in the end like Gates, he will give them away through philanthropic means. He may not admit that he has a kind and generous heart but he does. His kindness is immense.

In my deep thoughts, I didn't notice that my one hour has run out. The voice pressed me to make a decision. And so I did.

I chose to selfishly keep my daughter and I decided on Bill Gates and The Prodigal Son.

Of course in reality, there was no voice and there were no paths to choose.

This whole exercise is about knowing your children’s abilities and capacities. We may have dreams about what we want our children to be when they grow up. We may even want to choose their paths for them.  In the end however, our children will become who they are. It’s our job and responsibility to recognize our children’s abilities and help them develop these abilities.

We may want to protect them from the world but we cannot and must not because in doing so we will be depriving them of their destiny. We have to remember that as parents, like Martin Luther King and Bill Gates parents, we are the original “Life Coaches.” Our job is to help with their life game plan and guide them through life practice. 

And when it is game time, we have to let them play.

photo by: bloom-fitness.com

Positive Lies, Negative Truths

At work I’m an expert at telling positive lies in place of negative truths. As a teacher and a school administrator, I not only have to nurture our school’s students’ feelings, I have to do it for their parents as well.

When speaking to parent about his or her child, you have to know that even if a parent is listening to your comments objectively, the negative statements about his/her child doesn't hurt any less. I know I’m good at what I do because I can totally empathize with every single parent I talk to. Like any other parent, while my children are definitely my source of inspiration and strength, they are also my Achilles Heel.

Any negative statement regarding my children, true or not, is like a dull knife piercing through my heart. Such was the case when one of my dearest and respected relative spoke unfavorably about my children. While what she said was true and without malice, her comments were still hurtful.

And because I was hurt, I changed our entire vacation itinerary. Did I overreact? Probably.  Was I too sensitive? With out a doubt! But my feelings were definitely valid and justified.

So imagine me, reacting the way I did. I'm supposed to be a professional, who is very objective, and who usually take everything with a grain of salt. Now replace me with one of the many parents from my school.

Yes, I believe in telling the truth. But I also believed in bending the truth to achieve a bigger and better outcome. When it comes to talking to parents about their children’s academic, social, and emotional progress or lack thereof, one must thread lightly and cautiously. If one sets out to tell the unadulterated truth to a parent, one must be ready to face the repercussion. 

photo from: blog.lib.umn.edu

An Examined Life

Hello World! This is my very first post. I wish I had something very clever to say, but unfortunately my wit escapes me. However, I did find an article that was sent to me by a friend of mine. This article speaks to me because I subscribe to its overall message. In due time you will learn more about me. In the meantime please enjoy the article below: 

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.' The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

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Did you like the article? Sometimes even if try very hard, I tend to "focus on the sand" especially when it comes to work. The funny thing though is that when it comes to my children and my students, I focus more on the "golf balls". How about you, do you focus more on the sand or the golf balls?


photo from: theburiedlife.tumblr.com